so much has happened in the past couple of weeks and I have no time to rest much. I’m finally moved into my own place. Got my stove and fridge, but no beds. Saturday afternoon, if all goes well, I get my cat back. Monday I get a microwave.
DSS had promised me beds, a stove and fridge but the housing worker never mentioned having to go through an interview, she just said ‘so and so will call you’.Well turns out they had to have a reason to get those… without a paper trail regarding the abuse, because I just left on my own, withouthim threatening our lives, without police reports, they had nothing to give whomever was going to provide those. I wish she would have said there’s a process etc and it’s not guaranteed because iwould have made other arrangements.
so I was left to scrounge things up myself. I was given the address for what was supposed to be an outreach center but was actually a thrift store and had to dish out most of what money I was saving for my divorce to buy a stove. It’s small but it’s mine. I set up transport for a day I knew would get transportation and the lady agreed to be there and open the doors for me to get it even though it was not a day they’re opened usually. Turns out it was an issue for the shelter people but because the stove fit in one of their regular vans they helped me get it to the apartment. Because I was pushing to move out of the shelter this past wednesday, they rush found me a fridge. They also got me a table and chairs.
I’ve yet to get my son’s health insurance card despite calling and them arranging to send it to me. I will be calling them back about it. It’s possible that the mail carrierjust put it in the wrong mailbox. I keep getting mail for the other units in the building… sighhhh
I kept trying for nearly two weeks to get a hold of the guy who has my cat and he wouldn’t call me back. I feel terrible about having to call him at work via my former manager but that ended up being the only way I actually got to talk to him. If all goes well, I get my cat back tomorrow. I contacted two rescues and one got back to me right away and is helping me out. The other I need to call back and thank them and let them know I have everything set up to get her back. It was rough enough trying to get the guy to actually talk to me on the phone and I was beginning to think he was avoiding me and I would have to contact the cops to get my cat back…
I have a lot of cleaning to do and sorting, I have laundry to do as well. Monday if all goes well, I also get a microwave.
The emotional roller coaster I went through over the past month has been very tiring and very upsetting. I have been promised help, let down, then helped after all. I’ve had a fight on my hands to get electric and gas turned on, the move approved and then almost declined by a different worker… until she spoke to the previous one. I’ve had help getting some furniture. I’ve been shuffled around until I thought I would go insane. I’ve been yelled at for not knowing the process and told ‘you’re STILL here???’ without it ever occuring to them that no, I have no clue what I’m doing and none of you are explaining it to me. If youjust say ok you need to do this and this and this, these are your available options to make it happen… but no… the truth is that they don’t know what all the available ressources are and they don’t communicate between agencies. They also don’t have a clue on how you’re supposed to get it all done. It sure is a learning curve…
I have to say that the main problem with the shelters is that no one sits down with you and gives you a clue… you’re left to figure it out on your own and yes some get lucky enough that other more experienced shelter residents (no, not taff for the most part) take you under their wind and explain to you what the staff hasn’t bothered telling you but when you keep to yourself, your only room mate is your kid and you haven’t got a clue then you’re left to figure it out on your own. This makes the road very difficult, even more so when the DV (domestic violence) advocate gave you info that was absolutely wrong. Some people arejust very unhelpful at the best oftimes, sighhhhhhhhhh. It was a long process to get anything done and I ended up doing most of it bymyself. Now I’m left with little to no money for the divorce I was hoping to get sooner rather then later and it might take me a few mo ths to save up enough for it. I have DSS from one city confused with the one from thiscity as they refilled my account but probably shouldn’t have. They have not contacted me about it.
I have begun the volunteer job here and I have to say I really enjoy it though I will have to step up my game on being social as I need to get to know these people well. On a social level, for someone who has been in her shell for almost two decades afraid of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person, this is highly demanding. I’m friendly and all but conversation doesn’t come easily for me. I’m not sure on things yet. I’m sociiable but not very social… It’seasy with people i’m comfortable around but I find it difficult around people I don’t know… and to get to know people willdefinitely prove to be a challenge.
I should be used to it, I mean i’ve been an online mentor for two years and an online club host for just as long but I’ve spent my third year keeping mostly to myself as I battled with life to try and make this move. Things needed to change and I needed my freedom back. I had waited long enough for the sake of my son.
There will be more struggling as time goes but for now, I’ve made a lot of progress. Or so my one dearest friend tells me… though I’m not as sure as he is about that… because it feels like very little and very big struggles. Now that i’ve pushed to be in my own place, things are beginning to settle down despite there still needing to be lots done… It’s all moving very slowly… and no info on my case status with immigration…