Electric company mayhem…

so to get the apartment i need to get that connected and they require two proofs of id…. well my photo id is still in my maiden name and its from high school/college and in french cuz my deadbeat estranged husband who was holding the paperwork over my head for over a decade and a half didnt want me to have proper id cuz that’d be one less way to control me so in not doing my paperwork and in holding it over my head along with all the emotional and mental and verbal abuse i don’t have ressources like that…

so they decline my ID… dss housing worker sends them everything we have to prove i amme, and this includes the prima facie…only to be declined again…so the dss worker gets the supervisor to contact me and she’s thinking of declining me cuz the prima facie isn’t for id purposes but it does prove i’m victim of domestic violence which does get her to put my case through to an advocate that works for them.  i’m crying overnight and flipping out cuz i was so close to getting this place and i can’t even understand how i can be so close including acceptance for the security deposit grant but if i can’t get utilities turned on i got nothing and it was a very rough night and i cried myself to sleep. i was trying – and failing- to not cry in the dss office the next day but then i get a call from the advocate and everything checks out and he approved me and then we find out heat is gas….so… now i have to get gas turned on…i call them from the dss office…

only…they cant find the meter…. so i call the landlord and they say they dont have anyone to check on it…and so i go there and my kid and i check the meter…no red tag, it’s not off its on… i call the office to confirm with the landlord it’s the correct meter and i tell her it doesnt have a red tag…

she says she needs to look into it and hangs up…so monday i need to call her back and then the fuel company and see about getting that turned on… once this is done, i will be struggling to pay gas and need heap assistance over the winter but we will have housing…

and i’ll have my cat back…

so still hoping and praying and struggling but a friend told me they hear in my voice the MY home with utilities in MY name and hears the joy of being independent and free and being able to finally have a place and start my life over with my kid who has been a lot of help and a reminder of why i didnt just give up & go back across the border.

housing, finally!!!

so this nice lady drives a bunch of people around to look at apartments for rent, says here seeing the places and neighborhoods is the only way to go and she was right.  it does show you the better areas vs the not so great ones.  And it does help you get landlords calling you back with appointments etc…so i found this apartment my kid and i both liked.

 

they didnt mention gas heat… but then dss had given me a 600$/month number for the two of us and so on…and then backed out and said 450 or less… there’s nothing @ 450 or less… so i apply for the security deposit grant and they approve it and dss numbers work for just electric…then i contact the electric co here…

fyi…

a note on being a shelter noob…

because yeah…i’m currently a shelter noob…

and people make fun of shelter noobs…

 

so this morning i went looking for the meal area…cuz i got shuffled here only last night and this guy asks if i’m looking for it and tells me where it is and how it’ll only get unlocked by staff at the time meal is ready… but then after the helpful info he begins to mock me cuz i’d been looking for it… well… congratulations on misuse of the word floosie/floosy… in that it does not mean ‘idiot’ or ‘airhead’ or even ‘shelter noob’ but rather it describes a sexy flirt’  which… i’m not, ever.  i’m sure it impressed your girlfriend though who clearly also had no idea of the actual meaning of the word…

 

and secondly… being a shelter noob…omg i’m fully admitting yes i’m a total shelter noob. i have no clue how this works or where things are… wait…hold on…

i’m not sure that’s a bad thing… think about it…

 

(for those needing explanation it means i’ve never been homeless before.  and what if my house had burned down yesterday?  would you still make fun?  you who knows nothing of how i ended up as homeless as…well…you and your girlfriend…just a thought… and obviously you know how this works…hmm…)

Shelter life

so i have been in two shelters now… very different ones… different rules though mostly the same ish… i now have to prove to dss that i am trying to find housing by filling out info on each place i call about…

my issues have been compiled to similar to a lot of people, i.e. trouble getting a security deposit, but i’m told organisations can help with that.

background checks and credit checks? i have none but again where landlords prefer seeing good info, they might, some of them, give people a break…

where i hit the wall?  is where no one else has one… my lack of a SSN. the moment i don’t put one on the application they reject it…oh not outright but the next thing i hear is it’s been rented to someone else and these landlords no longer return my calls…

it marks me as an alien or illegal and they don’t wanna deal with that… some listen to my predicament and some don’t but one downright told me well if we can’t find anyone else then fine we’ll let you but we’d rather money and a ssn…sorry…it’s been rented to someone else…

so this shelter i’m in now does room checks… i was told to make sure the room is kept clean but i suspect they want to avoid drugs and other bad behaviors because several bursts into the rooms in one night at different hours just… yeah…

and i understand why they do it but it definitely hit a nerve where i ended up having nightmares of my estranged husband’s bursts into the bedroom of the home before i left him…and tormenting me… the subconcious purge is good but maybe it should have been brought about in a different way… only… this being a homeless shelter and not a violence victim one, i get no counseling and they have no clue how their little bursts into my *temporary* sanctuary has affected me… but i expect those from now on so it won’t be as bad and i know it’s not him returning to torment me and try to abuse me mentally and emotionally…but who knew i apparently have mild ptsd… sighhhh

since we’ve been shuffled to an entirely other town/city, tomorrow we’ll be going out to explore and ask questions and hopefully visit apartments…but dss told me i will get less then they previously told me and finding housing will be much more difficult for my child & myself…

breathless sigh

so i’ve been kicked out by the friend we were crashing at and ended up at a homeless shelter…cuz…not being in the abusive situation meant i could no longer get into a violence shelter… so… we’ve been living at the shelter for a week now.  went there last Friday night, and it was the fourth of july weekend… places were closed on Monday… went to dss to let them know Tuesday…which was wrong, i’m told that they might not help cuz i didn’t go Friday before moving into the shelter…except… i didn’t know i was going to be in the shelter till 4pm & by then dss was closed…it might not make a difference… dunno…

i could have been on the streets with my son for that entire weekend…glad we weren’t.

meanwhile my estranged husband has a home, cable tv, internet and a brand new flat screen tv and only pays 58$/month in child support & 450$ in rent & cries ‘woeth me’ to mooch off people…

the 58$/month means less in food stamps for kiddo (and by extension myself cuz i don’t qualify for food help…it’s federal and i can only get state benefits not federal…)

so… i am meeting interesting people at the homeless shelter…but we can only be there for one more week… meanwhile no one wants to tell me how to get into transitional housing but dss is monitoring my attempts at getting housing…

made lots of calls and filled out one application…electric and gas are a little too high but with monthly meter readings they’d hopefully charge less…

got another place to check out this afternoon… a response to the facebook post i posted months ago… i hope it works out… this one costs less in utilities

 

 

 

 

 

why i have not found housing yet

this is a list of reasons i couldn’t secure housing…

  • i couldn’t save up enough money for a security deposit, let alone first and last month rent to sign a lease

(when you leave in a hurry, you leave a lot behind, you need clothing and shampoo, i needed feminine products, we needed shoes and raincoats and so much more and then i got my cat out of there she needed vetting and that cost a lot…even the cheaper places ask for a lot)

  • i cannot qualify for any federal benefits, this means no subsedized housing, no section 8 housing
  • having been a non-entity for 17 years means i have no background to check
  • I have no creditand can’t get credit
  • i have no rental history except what my now estranged husband has…meaning whenever he stiffed a landlord for rent, i pay the price…even though he was financially abusive and  bully financially…
  • because of the isolation and abuse, i have no references, no emergency contacts, the friend that let me crash on her couch and then kicked me out is it….which isn’t enough cuz they want more then one anyway… i know lots of people, sure…they are all friends of my estranged husband and believe his lies and so not people i can ask or want to deal with…
  • i have no social security number which makes most people look at me and decide…nope…cuz they don’t know if i’ll be here in a month, two or three months to pay rent

talk about your road blocks…

new direction taken…

wow, a lot has happened and i haven’t had a chance to post in a while…

first, i had to volunteer at the local thrift store to keep my dss benefits.  I can’t work but I can volunteer my time. They were joking at me cuz i work fast and do a good job and i work hard.  of course i do, i’ve been forced to stay home for seventeen years, i’ve been locked up in a tiny bedroom trying to avoid abuse for about two years, i’ve been itching to work and prove myself.  in fact i’ve done such a good job that i would have been hired on the spot, three (3) days into doing this.  i liked it so much i volunteered for two weeks when i was only supposed to do five days. the people there are friendly, and there is always need of hands to sort everything and prepare it to sell.  our manager is great and she takes great care of us and makes us laugh to keep moral up.

so, for the next two weeks, iwas supposed go try ro find housing, and i did try…however that failed for many many reasons i sill list in my next post.  and the friend who’s couch i was living on kicked my son and i out.  so we stored our stuff in hopes of being able to retrieve it, found someone to take my cat in temporarily and moved to the homeless shelter… i can only stay for 2 weeks..during that time i am still looking for housing but i will try for transitional housing as well…

not enough time to save up a security deposit in 2 weeks so we will see…it’s supposed to put me at the top of whatever lists for help they have…i will know more tuesday thanks to the long 3 day weekend…

thank you to the co-worker that took my cat in and thank you to the co-workers trying to help me find housing.

happy belated Canada day

have a happy 4th of July