Yesterday I get an appointment to visit an apartment in a great location with a decent rent and all utilities included in the price range they will pay for.  I get the appointment for it that same day at 5pm.  I had my son meet me at my class after his so we could both visit it.

We head there and arrive at 4:55 which should have been excellent.  We waited 40  minutes and the people never showed up.  I called them back at 15 after and they are no longer in the office of course.  They never showed up and never called me back 😦

I called another place but they refuse rent via DSS… which reminds me there is much stigma towards people receiving social aid benefits… We are not all bad people, we are not all drug addicts and trouble makers.  Sometimes we are good, clean and quiet people down on our luck with very little hope and very little going for us.

I feel like crying pretty much every single day right now.  It feels hopeless.

I have another place or two to call today in hopes of moving out of our current situation into hopefully a better one.

Home front

I keep searching for a different place to live.  The friend’s son has been causing as much mayhem and trouble as he can, even trying to sabotage my son and myself…more myself for some things.  He seems to get a perverse pleasure in it.  The more trouble he causes his mother, the more she takes it out on us out of cabin fever and frustration.  In addition he has gotten her to make us jump through hoops to keep him happy despite his not doing his chores and she knows he does it on purpose.  And yet she fuels his behavior by rewarding him and taking it out on us.  My son who mostly does his asked chores and gets my blessing to use her internet since he does just fine getting to school and cooperating seems to irk her and so when she wants him to do her son’s chores because her own son won’t do them she punishes my son until he complies.  which also punishes me since I need the internet to look for a place to live.

It is imperative that we find a place of our own as this is yet another toxic environment that has caused my son to pick up some of her son’s attitude.  Plus I see similar behaviors in her son as in my estranged abusive husband.  That worries me greatly.  He has already attacked me and since he was 15 years old and she opened her home to us, I did not report.  I did not want to ruin his future but I am very worried.

So I keep looking for a place we could move to, my son and I, where it would be only the two of us and not have to worry about it.  I cannot begin to describe how frustrating and difficult jumping through hoops has been for both of us.  A part of me regrets asking her for help, but I had no idea her son could be so…vindictive over imagined slights.  I did not mention to her that half my underwear went missing the first week we moved in with her.  I find it creepy and had to buy myself more to replace them, nor did I find the missing ones.  I assume they are either in his school locker or in the trash.  I looked all over their home for them with no luck.

Communication has been an issue as even though she knows her son does the sabotage she has done nothing to stop it.  She has gotten proof as he has admitted to it.  Yet she gets mad if I bring it up.  We had agreed to butt out of each other’s parenting but she never stopped getting on kiddo’s case over petty things whenever her son acts out.  I have even been asked to contact the school in regards to her son while she was at work, knowing I was busy dealing with Social Services requirements.

This situation sucks bilge.






Back and Forth

I was supposed to get into a work program because i was deemed physically able to work.  I would be taught about making a resume and getting to look for a job.  I was also going to try to get into a class with a sure job at the end.  I did the TABE test and rated pretty good so I was not in need of schooling to refresh my memory on school things.  I surprised myself being able to recall my math as if i’d learned it only yesterday but it was as if the last sixteen to seventeen years had never happened when I sat there taking the test.  I certainly did not feel smart sitting there after pretty much everyone else had left.  Then the results came and I was told I did very well.  It shocked me even more since I’d been sitting there trying to figure out the English terms i’d only learned on french for math but I somehow managed to figure out the math terms in English and I did good.

I was then put into a job search program but I can’t legally work here yet.  Not without immigration making a decision in my case.

So I had to talk to their people and I am now in limbo for a bit.  I am also waiting for tax forms proving I’ve been here for at least five years which are taking a long time to be sent.  Had I been able to go get them myself with proper picture ID and all, I would have them already but that is not an option as I neither have said ID and won’t yet, nor do I have a ride during the week days to take me for an hour drive to their offices.

So I’m back to sitting at home until they send me a schedule to go to a place daily and have some sort of work-like non-job… where they put you Monday through Friday and you do things as if you had a job.  All so I don’t lose benefits which worries me terribly.